literally have not posted anything in about forever. I miss you, tumblr. 

Drugs are no different from getting in an airplane, driving without your seat belt, or drinking booze. When you remove the stigma, it’s a relatively straight forward risk/reward calculation. There are upsides to getting high, and there are very clear (but wildly variant) downsides. By understanding how great the risks and rewards are – any person can (and should) make a smart decision on their own. I personally concluded there are very few drugs that pass the risk/reward litmus test, but many people do find safe ways to incorporate a variety of substances into their lives with minimal downside.


I do not know where to even begin. I write this with a heavy heart and its not easy to put my thoughts into words.

There have been many opinions on what occurred at Electric Zoo 2013, but mine is going to be much more personal.

What I have come to love with all of my heart over the last 2 years has been destroyed by the over glorification of drugs and the invincible mentality of the festival goers I share my experiences with. When I first began, the term “Molly” was relatively unknown. It was rare to come across and people were just discovering this new, expensive and “more safe” alternative to Ecstasy. Walking around Beyond Wonderland alone as a newbie to it all, drug use was kept under wraps. If you even made a whisper about using, people would walk away from you. There weren’t loud and obnoxious college frat guys screaming IM ROLLING SO HARD and wearing “Molly Is My Home Girl” shirts and “Rollin’ Balls” trucker hats. There were RAVERS. The night owls who stayed up all hours of the night, listening to the music they loved and meeting the beautiful people who shared the same love as they did. 

Then the “EDM Explosion” happened, and rappers began to rap about it. Miley Cyrus started singing about it. DJs started sampling Molly tracks into their sets. So, naturally, college kids with their molly attire and underage children with fake IDs wanted a piece of it. I was the biggest advocate for allowing everyone in, to share the beauty and the experience that all of us love so much, but as soon as you start to expand the core of what makes the experience what it is (the attendees), the darker side of it all, the drugs, begins to expand with it and quality over quantity starts to become quantity over quality, and safety becomes an issue.

Two lives were lost this weekend at EZoo. More are still hospitalized. Another life left us at Hard LA a few weeks back. A Zedd show at the House of Blues saw 3 overdoses, with one passing away. It is not a case of being responsible anymore. Responsibility and taking drugs do not go hand in hand, especially during the times we’re living in where even the most informed people are buying drugs and do not know what they are putting in their bodies. You are not invincible. None of us are. It takes one bad batch of the same stuff you get from the same guy to do something that your body rejects and you end up in a hospital. What happened this weekend could have been any one of you. That realization shocks me to my very core. I applaud the city of New York and Made Events for shutting down Sunday of EZoo. By allowing Sunday to happen, they would’ve opened their gates again to another chance of more people losing their lives. It is absolutely the attendees decision what to put and what not to put in their bodies, but by taking away the place where drugs are now the norm, they are saving lives. They could’ve saved yours. 

I will no longer be attending festivals for this reason. At least for awhile. I refuse to go back to the place where I feel the most happy when death is occurring somewhere nearby. I was only 200 ft from the girl who lost her life at Dada Life Saturday. She collapsed during “So Young, So High”. A song about being on top of the world, feeling euphoric and powerful, is now associated with someone leaving us. I can no longer do this thinking that the next person could be someone who means something to me. I can’t spend hundreds of dollars on tickets, travel, room, etc; when the event may get canceled or worse, I have to look back on it as a time when someone lost their life. Walking into events and seeing “Molly This” and “Molly That” is disgusting. I will always love this music. I will always love this culture. I will always love all of you, but it is time for me to grow up. All of us need to. Let the music carry you away. The very thing we all fell in love with first is the only thing we need. We are no longer safe in this culture because of what has happened to it.


This right here is all we need. Each other. Be smart. Be responsible. Look out for one another. I am begging all of you to look back on this weekend and reflect. Things are never going to be the same.



Travel far enough, you meet yourself.

David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas   (via toostoked)

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Disco is never dead

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